


The Color of Your Eyes

by Chromophilic_Daydream



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Ann gives some good advice, Fluff, M/M, Nothing but sweet feelings here, Pining, Post Series, mentions of past trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-16 17:23:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15442083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chromophilic_Daydream/pseuds/Chromophilic_Daydream
Summary: Kitagawa Yusuke was not the type to dwell on impractical and dauntless thoughts. No, such ideas that got in the way of the emotions he was trying to convey through his craft were mere distractions at best. He found it beneficial to focus his attention on the task at hand rather than the muddled mess of possibilities of days past. Lingering on such thoughts did not aid in propelling him forward; after all, it only served to further weigh his pencil down in his hand and curb his urge to express himself through art.Letting his emotions get the better of him was not conducive to his creative process, at least not when his feelings were not coupled with an image in his mind of how he could accurately convey them on paper or canvas.However, he sorely missed Akira.





	The Color of Your Eyes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pinkiecandies](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=pinkiecandies).



> Finally got to try my hand at Kitashu and I'm quite happy with the results~ I hope [Pinkie](https://twitter.com/PinkieCandies) enjoys this little gift that [ Haru](https://twitter.com/harusokuze) and I schemed up!
> 
> Thank you to [Reiko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Selvanic) for betaing!

Kitagawa Yusuke was not the type to dwell on impractical and dauntless thoughts. No, such ideas that got in the way of the emotions he was trying to convey through his craft were mere distractions at best. He found it beneficial to focus his attention on the task at hand rather than the muddled mess of possibilities of days past. Lingering on such thoughts did not aid in propelling him forward; after all, it only served to further weigh his pencil down in his hand and curb his urge to express himself through art.

Letting his emotions get the better of him was not conducive to his creative process, at least not when his feelings were not coupled with an image in his mind of how he could accurately convey them on paper or canvas.

However, he sorely missed Akira.

How much, he could probably never properly express, even if he had all of the time and resources in the world to create a piece to immortalize it. It wouldn't be possible to create such a masterpiece out of the complexity that Akira left in his absence. 

It had been a year already since the day on the beach and their last celebration to cover the sorrow they felt upon wishing Akira farewell. Since then, the spring withered into summer, the summer shriveled to fall, the fall froze into winter and winter melted into spring filled with vibrant colors that Yusuke was utilizing for his portfolio pieces due upon graduation. The lush greens of the budding foliage blotted by the pinks of sakura blowing in the fresh air and across the warm blue sky. All colors that tied the artist's collection together in a cohesion that his teachers praised him for. However, none of those colors compared to the cool slate gray that had become a signature color of his, one that he perfected and favored through his own mixture. He was overly fond of it, though he was unsure as to why. Rather he did not dwell on such reasons why it made his chest feel light and warm... and ache just a bit.

Again, lofty possibilities that he channeled into production. That's what he had been raised on his whole life. It was one of the better things he had been taught in his years of art. Some of the worst things he was still trying to kick the habit of. Which is why he still kept in contact with all of his friends from their whirlwind adventures over a year ago now. Isolation was not the key; he had to keep trying to improve for his own sake.

That's what Akira had taught him, anyhow. It would be a disservice to his friendship to completely disregard everything he had learned in his time with the Phantom Thieves and Akira himself... though it may have been easier to just become a recluse. However, he had been making an active effort to still interact and even hang out with his friends when he had money to spare.

Or sometimes they even came to him. Today was no exception. He had asked Ann to stop by so he might see about painting one of his final pieces for his review. His teachers were asking him to take risks, so he was trying to do that without stepping too far out of his habitual element. She was lounging on one of the many couches in the main studio, staring at her handheld gaming console with a brightly colored lollipop in one hand. By now, Ann had modeled for Yusuke dozens of times. She was also a recurring theme in his pieces; though he never found himself adequate enough to capture her beauty, he still tried valiantly to do so. He enjoyed the company of her presence today as well... it had been a very difficult time for him last year, saying goodbye to someone he had grown so close to. It had been so fresh in his mind lately that throwing himself into production mode and, thusly, Ann had been a welcomed distraction.

"Yusuke, is it okay if I move my hand down?" She asked him, jolting him from his shallow thoughts as his pencil lifted from the paper. He had gotten a bit better about not becoming so absorbed in his work to actually hear when others spoke to him. Perhaps he had learned a bit more kindness with his exploration of humanity as well that they were not above his own desires.

"Ah, yes. Please take a break. Maybe I shall as well." He flexed his hand and peered past his piece at his friend who sat up and stretched much like a cat lazing in the sun.

"I always forget how quiet it is here." She commented and stifled a yawn before standing up and looking around at the other students working tirelessly. "Can I see what you have?" Ann smiled at him before creeping a bit closer to his workspace.

"No. It's not done yet." He quipped sharply, his model snickering and waving her hand with a delicate flick of her wrist.

"I was kidding. You know I ask that every time because it bothers you, right?" She grinned at him sheepishly and he felt the slight burn of embarrassment travel across his cheeks.

"I have noticed."

"Well, can you show me anything you've been working on?" She managed to close the distance between them without giving the current piece even a glance. He hesitated but nodded, pulling out a warm-up sketchbook and handing it to her. It had been one of his hurdles to overcome, showing someone incomplete and otherwise worthless art. After all, if he didn't procure ideal pieces, he would suffer the consequences. So even necessary warm-up sketches were rubbish in his eyes. But now he didn't have problems showing them to his friends. The pressure to produce was still there, but the pressure to produce perfection to survive was lifted almost entirely. It was not the same situation anymore.

He stood up himself, stretching his legs as Ann flipped through the thick paper lazily.

"Hmm."

Yusuke looked down where she sat beside him. "Is something the matter?"

"Oh... no nothing! You just draw Akira a lot, yeah?" She turned the book around and pointed to the incomplete images littering the page.

"I assure you, I draw you all quite frequently." He stated.

"I mean if you say so. It’s just— I’ve been thinking about him a lot recently too." She sighed heavily and went back to flicking through the pages. "I hope he is doing better. He doesn't really respond much to our group chats."

"I believe he is probably just busy with graduation preparations like we are."

"It's hard because first Shiho moved away and then him… Even if it’s been a whole year, it’s still difficu—" Her voice trailed off as she looked up to Yusuke, her brow arched high and her head tilted. "Yusuke. This whole sketchbook is Akira."

He blinked. "Is it? These are just my warm-up sketches." He had been drawing him often as of late. It was hard to clear his mind of distractions so he found a way to compromise: by drawing a few pictures of the very thing distracting him as practice.

However, it had become such a crutch to draw him that Yusuke was thankful Ann wasn't looking up at the piece he had been working on with her for the last hour or so. He had begun to draw the faint outline of glasses over sharp eyes and wisps of curls while he was focusing on expression before he noticed.

As he sat back down, Ann flipped through the book once more, her eyes narrowed in suspicion. He had also gotten much better at reading small physical tells and body language since he had been talking to more and more people at Kosei and maintaining the friendships he had built over his time with the Phantom Thieves.

"You look like you want to ask me something. Am I wrong?"

"I'm just trying to think of the way to word it." She tapped her glossy lips with a manicured finger before her eyes traveled up to the paper.

"Ah, Yusuke." Her voice was rattled with realization. She noticed. Of course, she noticed. That was not her face gracing his paper.

He groaned inwardly, before springing to his feet once more to block her view. "I told you not to look."

The damage was done. Her fiery gaze cut through his icy denial with a critical hit.

"I think I see what's going on here."

He didn't find it in his heart to be upset by her intrusion. Curiosity was part of the human condition, after all, and these were the cards dealt to him.

Yusuke cleared his throat and swallowed hard, trying to think of an eloquent way to explain himself.

"I believe I just miss him. It's becoming quite a hindrance."

"Hard to cope with? I felt that way when Shiho left..." She frowned and crossed her arms over her chest before biting her lip in thought. "It's still hard sometimes, but I do things I would have done with her and it helps."

"Oh?" He leaned in closer to her to listen. "Like what, exactly?"

She shrugged and became seemingly interested in the ends of her hair as she played with them. "Hmm, nothing too special. Sometimes I break away to Harajuku and go get a crepe... or even go watch a volleyball game. I miss her a lot but it makes me feel a bit better, you know?"

He nodded. This was of great interest to him. Truth be told, Akira had been on his mind more so than not, and it was maddening that all he could do was send a text every now and again to him. He had never been more eager to check his phone for missed messages before and it made him exceedingly happy when Akira did respond to him. However, that was few and far between now. Yusuke knew it was due to finals and overcoming the loss of his social standing due to the trial and expulsion he faced. Even so long after, he still was struggling to find his place in his hometown. It meant working twice as hard as he normally would have and, thus, it took him away from interacting with his friends in Tokyo.

So the gap in their communication had left him frustrated and... maybe a bit lonely.

"Do you think me doing activities Akira and I would have done together would help ease this distress?"

Ann shrugged. "I don't think it'd hurt. Like what did you guys do when he was around?"

He leaned back in his chair and thought. "We visited several different places. To the temple to pray, the planetarium in Ikebukuro, oh! To the park on the swan boats to observe—"

His friend held up her hand to stop him. "The  swan boats , Yusuke really? You know that's a couples thing to do."

"I don't see why people keep saying that."

"Because it's true. That’s pretty much what they are  for. Wait. You two weren't dating were you?"

He jolted in his seat, heat rising to the tips of his ears at the suggestion. "Heaven's no. Nothing like that." The thought burned the back of his throat with a cough that ruptured after his denial. Dating? Akira? It was never anything like that. Akira was the sun that shone brightly over a dawning horizon and Yusuke was simply one of many who basked in his light. In that way, Akira was both someone easy to draw inspiration from, but also difficult to capture on paper. However, he found solace in his idle sketches. It reminded him of the times they had together... it reminded him how Akira had offered him a chance to break free of his own cycle of denial and abuse at the hands of someone seeking to use him. Akira saved him in a way that Yusuke still had no hopes of understanding. But dating? No. Intimacy? Unless he counted the quiet moments at Leblanc soaking up each other’s company, there was nothing like that between them. No matter how many times Akira caught his attention when the other wasn’t looking. It was just not something they spoke of while Akira was still living in Tokyo.

The look on Ann's face was one he did not register on a scale of emotions he associated with her. Perhaps it was skepticism, the way her lips pursed with a small smile, her fingers tucked under her chin and the hum of her voice purring in her throat.

"If you say so." The sing-song quality to her tone was enough to make him look away from her. Mercy came to him quickly as her phone began to buzz in her pocket. He sighed in relief as he was granted a reprieve from her heated stare. He glanced over his work as he listened to her take a call from her work, from the sound of it.

He could clearly see Akira in her stead.

Though the pallet of warm colors struck him first as he planned where each of them would go, the composition was one that emulated a sense of crisp serenity and relaxation. It made him feel calm looking at it.

"Ah, sorry Yusuke, I have to go." Ann stood up and handed him back his sketch-book.

"Is something the matter?"

"Just an impromptu shoot that they need me on. I'm sorry." She clapped her hands together and bowed her head. "I need to leave now."

"I'll walk you to the station then." He tucked his book away and grabbed his bag. "I would like to finish up our conversation on the way if you don't mind."

"About you and Akira  not  dating?” She cocked her eyebrow and tried very much to contain the grin that was threatening the corners of her mouth.

“Exactly.”

“Ah… okay. Let's go then."

The station was close by and the weather outside was breathtakingly stunning. It was a perfect afternoon to go outside and just lose himself in the colors spring provided. However, he was more interested in more of Ann's suggestions to him about how to deal with how utterly distracting the thought of Akira had been to him recently. It had been a whole year now since he moved back, since their day on the beach that still was one of the most bittersweet moments in his life.

"Maybe you can drink more coffee! Oh, or go to Leblanc and get some curry. I miss having time to go over there and just hang out." Ann sighed and shivered under the brisk chill of the afternoon breeze. "We should all go sometime."

"The only problem with that plan is money. I get a scholarship, but even with that it barely covers my monthly expenses for supplies and food. I can't see myself going that far out of the way for curry, I'm afraid." He frowned in discontent. At least coffee he could maybe afford every once in a while. Though, nothing could quite compare to the concoction that Akira always handed off to him. He distinctly remembered the sensation of hot coffee burning up his nose as the bitterness overtook his taste buds. The taste would follow him for a few hours after; however, he didn't really mind. Maybe because Akira made it for him. 

"Well, maybe I'll treat you at some point!" She smiled at him and he felt a rush of shame overtake him. He never felt comfortable having any of his friends offer to pay for him because he was on a fixed budget. Nonetheless, the offer still filled him with a sense of wonderment that he now had people who would do such things for him, rather than the opposite and let him starve should he prove himself to be useless.

Maybe he could do something about that, too.

"I'll try this though, Ann. Thank you for talking to me about it today. I'll confess, it's been a bit embarrassing to have someone occupy your thoughts all the time."

She nodded knowingly. "I getcha. Believe me, I understand. I hope it works out though, let me know, okay?"

With that, they said their goodbyes and Yusuke began walking back towards his dorms when a vending machine outside the station caught his eye. They had coffee there for cheap, right? It was a small can but perhaps that was all he needed.

He peered into the machine, then fished around in his wallet for a few hundred yen coins and watched as the coffee drink tumbled out before taking it back to his workspace. There he continued to work on his piece, solidifying everything but the face where he felt conflict. All the while, he sipped on the can, letting the coffee overpower his mind well into the night. Back in his dorm room he slid out his phone and sent a text to the very person the coffee reminded him of. Though, to be fair, the canned coffee had nothing on Akira's heavy-handed roast. Perhaps nothing in that machine would taste that vile, nor that passionate. So it was not a likely substitute, but one he would still try to incorporate into his life whenever he found himself missing his friend.

[I hope you had a good day today.]

As he readied for bed, he saw a notification on his phone light up. He finished brushing his teeth before diving into the message.

[It was busy but good. What did you do today?]

The excitement that bubbled in his stomach was unparalleled to anything else. He could feel the numbing smile on his lips as he typed back a response. It had been a few days since they texted, so to get an answer back this fast was... more energizing than the coffee had been.

[I met with Ann, I'm working on one of my final pieces for my portfolio. What about you?]

It didn't take long to get a response.

[Lucky you. All I managed to do was inhale so much dust from books in our library that my eyes haven't stopped itching for hours now.]

The image almost painted itself before his eyes. Akira hunched over a table in a dingy library with books stacked ever so high around him, caging him in like a prisoner. The thought made him almost sad, however. It seemed very... lonely.

He suddenly felt foolish for ever feeling isolated.

[Perhaps you should rest then.]

[Nah, I'm talking to you now, that's better than studying.]

He smiled again. It was the least he could do, offering Akira someone to talk to.

[I'm thrilled to hear I am more interesting than textbooks.]

Akira sent him a laughing sticker. [Yeah, well, I miss you guys a lot. I wish I wasn't five hours away.]

Yusuke wished the same.

[I assure you, the feeling is mutual. What subjects are you studying for?]

From there Akira continued to message him well into the early morning until they had both fallen asleep catching up on each other's lives.

It made him feel even worse somehow. He wanted so badly to see him again. Why was the distance so difficult to overcome?

However, he dreamt of his days at Leblanc with Akira by his side, dazzling him with a smile he could still not capture on any medium. A smile that thawed his heart so easily it made it difficult to breathe as it turned his blood into lava and pulsed through him at a rate that threatened to boil him alive. 

He woke up the next morning with the lingering taste of bitter coffee on his tongue and feeling more inspired than ever.

Ann's idea was a very good one indeed.

He spent the next couple of days putting that idea into action. It turned out to be very helpful; he felt more comfortable and focused on his workload as he started his second piece. This time he decided to capture he loneliness that carved away at his chest and turn it into something beautiful indeed. Borrowing the pallet that had become his cohesive theme, he began to paint the ocean, reminiscent of the Phantom Thieves’ last day together. The waves crashing along the rocky coast burst into the spring colors he had been cultivated the entire year, but underneath it all was the gray he had carefully created. A bright image that faded into a grey landscape to hide the sinister things lurking amongst the depths. 

Yusuke had even decided to leave Kosei’s studio to venture out upon Ann’s suggestion. He ended up at the park where he and Akira had rented the swan boats to study the reflection of light on a water source. He set up under a blossoming tree and painted the entire evening away until the sun no longer hung high enough in the sky for him to see his progress.

It had been one of the more productive days he had had in a while, not at all thinking that it could have had something to do with the caffeine from the coffee drink he had bought from a local vending machine before finding his spot on the lakefront. No, it had to do with Akira’s memory inspiring him to greatness. Being surrounded by places and tastes that meant a great deal of comfort to him propelled him forward on the rocky sea of life.

And that was the emotion he tried to express in his painting. A comfort that faded to loneliness. It reminded him of Joker’s eyes as he took on another Persona, the shine of the aura bouncing in his grey eyes like a sea threatening to open up and swallow everything around him with reckless ease. It reminded him of the look in Akira’s eyes when he came back beaten and bruised from the interrogation room, the emptiness of his voice when no one else was around made him think of broken waves crashing against a shore. Even as he cared for him, Yusuke felt Akira was not in the room with him, but somewhere else entirely. Like he was listening to a conch shell and hearing an echo of someone he cared for immensely. And yet, the gray he had become so fond of that broke apart the pastels of the billowing waves he painted reminded him of the warmth radiating from Akira’s soul. The way he hugged them all on that final day a year ago and told them all he didn’t want to leave, and the utter silence that filled the van as they dropped him off left him feeling like he was carved of stone without Akira there beside him.

He went back to the lake several times to lose himself to nostalgia. However, he found filling himself with such familiar sights began to wane on his initial tide of contentment.

He found himself just as wrapped up in the feeling of loneliness that plagued him any time he thought about Akira. Which was seemingly always.

So he decided to devise a new tactic. Ann’s idea had worked initially, so he approached it from a new angle.

[You want what, Inari?]

He scoffed and immediately began to type back to Futaba upon seeing her response to him. [What’s Leblanc’s curry recipe?]

[Like hell I’d tell you! You know I would be skinned  alive if I ever gave you that!]

He highly doubted it. After all, Futaba had done much worse in the past without Sojiro even knowing, Yusuke resisted the urge to fight her on this, though. After all, one wrong word to her would be like a bomb going off.

[He doesn’t have to know if you don’t tell him.] He wasn’t going to mention that she bugged the entire cafe without him noticing, or acted as Medjed before the fake rolled around to cause some trouble. A recipe was probably nothing to her but a hassle she wasn’t interested in partaking in. 

[True, I guess, but why you want it? You’re not going to sell it online for art supplies are you? I’m blocking you.]

That made him roll his eyes as another message popped up.

[I’m so disappointed that you would try to profit off of Leblanc’s recipe for paint brushes. Have you no shame?]

[It’s nothing like that. I just want to try my hand at making it.]

There was a notable pause in her stream of messages accusing him of baseless crimes. He saw her name pop up and three dots then they disappeared. The cycle repeated about four more times before she finally committed to a response.

[It’ll suck if you make it.]

[I’d still like to try.]

[You know cooking is more like chemistry than like art, and you’re not a chemist. You’d probably kill someone.]

He blinked hard at the message, wondering how on earth his attempts at cooking would kill someone but decided to disregard it rather than ask for clarification.

[May I have it, or not?]

[No.]

Disappointment flooded his chest but he understood. Asking for such a sentimental thing for was bound to be met with resistance.

[I understand, I’ll try something else then.] 

There were tons of recipes online. Though it wouldn’t be the same curry, it would still be relatively close, right? Just like the canned coffee, not quite the same but good enough.

[Inari, stop annoying me about this recipe.]

He blinked. Hadn’t he just thanked Futaba? Before he could type back, she sent another message.

[It’s really dumb that you won’t drop it.]

[God, fine! You’ve annoyed me into giving it to you! But I demand a trade.]

Ah. He understood perfectly now. She was always going to give it to him if she got something out of it. It was time to play along.

[I’m extremely grateful; however, a trade of what?] 

And thus, Sakura Futaba traded her father’s recipe for a doujinshi commission she had been pestering him about for almost six months now. Yusuke secured the recipe that took almost four whole minutes for Futaba to acquire, which made him think she had only taken a picture of it and had to only scroll through her phone for it. Attached to the recipe picture sent was a small message from her:  I miss him too.

Seems he was more obvious than he initially thought.

Though he had made a few friends in the Culinary Arts program at Kosei that gave him access to their work area during off hours, he realized rather quickly two things about curry. Firstly, it was incredibly difficult to make even with a recipe since he was not a seasoned cook. Second, it was expensive. All his attempts so far had been completely different than he remembered Akira serving him, from the texture to the taste. It was disheartening. After all, cooking really wasn’t that different than painting. Except… perhaps Futaba had a point. It was more like chemistry. However, he didn’t give up until his monthly budget was beginning to wane rather quickly. 

Ann had come over again to help him finish up the first piece he had started with her the week or so previous, and he discussed his progress with her as he painted over the sketches of Akira’s face with her’s.

“At this point, it would be cheaper to go out and eat curry somewhere around here, right?” She asked. He let out a deep sigh.

“Perhaps, but my funds won’t allow it. Besides, I traded Futaba for that recipe. I should get some use out of it.”

Ann laughed like a tickle of a spring breeze. “I can totally see that happening. Did she finally get that commission from you?”

He blanched and peered around his paper to gape at her. “She told you about it?”

She nodded. “She told everyone.”

With him, she had been acting completely indifferent to its progress, but he supposed that was her just attempting to play it cool.

“I see.” He went back to the paper to begin shading his piece. 

“Oh, I have an idea how you can cut your costs back.”

“How’s that?”

“Haru could help you with your vegetable supplies. Just don’t use meat in your curry!” 

Ann really had the best ideas.

It was now stubborn determination that was fueling him. Haru had stopped in the early morning before her college classes began to drop off an assortment of vegetables and spices to him. With this, he was sure to get it right.

“I think this should do it.” She heaved the giant bag onto his bedside table in his dorm room. 

“I thank you for this. This will help me out.”

“It’s no big deal, Yusuke. That’s what friends are for.”

He was ever so grateful for them all. After he finished up his painting of the ocean, Yusuke found himself in the Culinary Arts kitchen, trying again to make Leblanc’s special curry. Thinking back to his conversations with Akira about cooking, he tried to remember exactly what the other had said about his secret ingredient that made it so special. He recalled once during the summer that Akira had set the curry in front of him for the first time and given him a small wink, stating boldly that he put a little love into it. He also remembered how his tongue felt like it had melted to the roof of his mouth with the level of spice that accompanied the small banter and that all the water in the pitcher beside him had not quelled the heat. 

Yusuke found himself thinking of that often as he prepared his attempts at Leblanc’s regular curry. He supposed that only Akira could make that monstrosity that scorched his taste buds, and it was not something he wanted to replicate on the regular. However, he had been getting better as he practiced, using the cutting techniques that Haru had shown him to make the vegetables cook at a more equal rate. He had been adding the called for ingredients for the sauce when his phone lit up from the group chat that had been dormant for weeks now.

[Hey guys, I miss Tokyo.]

It was from Akira. His heart swelled in his chest. Everyone else instantly jumped on the message, stating that Tokyo missed him too, asking how he’d been and if he was okay. Yusuke washed his hands off to watch and see where he could interject a comment.

[Wow, shouldn’t you all be studying?]

[Everyone deserves a little break now and then.]

[Studying is a word I never want to see ever again.]

Yusuke smiled at his phone as it buzzed in his hand. This felt so calming and familiar. Far more than anything else he had tried upon his friends’ suggestions.

It almost felt like Akira was just a train ride away again.

[I’ve been okay, but I have some news.]

[Tell them Akira! Tell them!]

[Wait, is everyone here? Where’s Yusuke?]

He lifted an eyebrow and frowned. Why did he feel the need to single him out? It was true he had been the only one not commenting because he saw no room to do so just yet. As he was beginning to type, Futaba beat him to the question.

[He’s probably making curry, just tell them anyway!]

His cheeks flushed deeply.

[I’m here.]

[Oh, there he is. Tell them Akira! Or I will!]

The chat went quiet from the flurry of inquiries about Akira’s news. He watched the dots with apprehension, hoping everything was alright. His heart seized when the words finally appeared on his screen.

[I’m coming back for Golden Week.]

He didn’t even hear his curry boiling over the rim of his saucepan over the racing of his blood through his veins.

He was going to be seeing Akira again very soon. It was the best news he had heard in a long time.

The chat was pinging with each incoming message of excitements and makeshift plans. Yusuke had begun trying to type a response showing his enthusiasm at the news when a burning smell caught his attention.

The curry.

He heard the sizzle of the sauce on the red-hot iron and all but dropped his phone on the counter. He mumbled under his breath as he turned down the heat and removed the pot carefully, dismayed at the mess he created. Perhaps he really wasn’t cut out for this. After he finished cleaning everything up and wrapping his vegetables to place in the fridge for safe keeping, he finally was able to turn his attention back to his phone.

The group chat had about 100 new messages. 

However, the mark by his private conversation with Akira had 2.

[You okay?]

[I guess you’re busy.]

He quickly texted on the way back to his room.

[I’m here now. Sorry I got wrapped up in something.]

He skimmed the group chat and found out exactly when Akira would be coming to visit and mentally counted down the days. Only eight days. That was so soon. The Phantom Thief group had not been this lively in some time, coming up with ideas for how to celebrate their now ex-leader coming back to visit everyone. Seemed he was staying with Sojiro at Leblanc. And it seemed like Yusuke needed to quickly scrounge up some money to be able to make the train fare.

[Oh there you are. Are you going to be around for Golden Week?]

He smiled and nodded to his phone before typing out his confirmation.

[I will be at the dorms finishing up whatever work I can until you arrive.]

[Cool. We should go see a movie or something one day.]

He didn’t question it, his smile barely contained by the suggestion. Nothing would make him happier.

[I’d enjoy that. Perhaps you can stop by and I’ll show you what I’ve been working on.]

[Sounds great. I miss seeing your art.]

And he missed showing him. He longed for the days where they would go to museums together and discuss complex subjects in such depths. Akira often pointed out different points of view on a number of subjects that Yusuke never even thought about. It was enlightening speaking with him about any type of topic. He never felt judged or treated oddly for his perspective on things as well. Akira was just comfortable to be around. It was easy.

[Come by anytime.]

[I’ll take you up on that offer.]

Just eight days.

As Yusuke filled the dwindling days with work on his previous two pieces, both Ann’s leisure and the ocean, the sheer excitement of seeing Akira again was keeping him fueled and focused on his goal. He hardly had time for anything else. 

He wanted to give Akira something. He had decided that as he signed his name in the rocks that framed the edge of his seascape piece. But he didn’t know quite what. What on earth could Akira want that he could afford? It would be troublesome for him to carry a piece of art back with him. Besides, Yusuke had already given him art that meant quite a big deal to him. Anything else would feel impersonal, right?

Two days before Akira was supposed to arrive, he stayed up late thinking about just what he could present to his friend to let him know how much he appreciated his companionship. 

He could make him something, perhaps a sketch, no… that would fall into the impersonal—

Yusuke shot up in bed with a revelation. He could make curry, right? It wouldn’t be as good as Leblanc, and he was sure Akira would get tired of it by the end of his trip, however… Yusuke could plausibly make it for him. That felt incredibly personal indeed.

And his mind was made up. He still had a full day until Akira was to be in Shibuya. It left plenty of time for him to cook something up and store it. It was thoughtful and personable! A perfect plan!

The next morning he brought his plan to action. As Golden Week had officially begun, the school was barely occupied by the bustle of students. In fact, he had only seen two or three in some of the practice rooms on his way to the kitchen. Yusuke had done well with his time, finishing up both pieces he had been perfecting with relative ease. He had one more to start and finish, but the week off wasn’t going to set him back. It wasn’t like he was going to be spending every waking hour with the group either. He could still manage to get some of his final work started and he’d be ahead of schedule.

Which meant he could focus all his attention on making this curry absolutely perfect. Hopefully. The last batch he managed to salvage after his excitement of Akira’s visit distracting him to the point of burning the very bottom of the pan. It still didn’t taste bad, however. Though there was something still missing. It was something he was going to remedy today, even if he didn’t know exactly what it was lacking.

Yusuke pulled the kitchen apron over his head and began to wash the remainder of the second batch of vegetables he had been given by Haru. He peeled the carrots and diced them, setting them aside before moving onto the potatoes. He was both nervous and excited. Cooking being such a new venture for him made him feel absolutely vulnerable, even when he was the only one trying his concoctions. But the thought of Akira, who had had access to some of the most delicious curry Yusuke had ever tasted, trying his own was almost mortifying. It had to be perfect.

He tucked his tongue between his teeth as he cautiously cut every single vegetable, handling them like they were made of porcelain. He didn’t hear the soft chuckle behind him nor the footsteps that drew ever nearer to him. However, he did feel the hand that rested on his own as he diced onions with the utmost care. The warmth of another person’s body was suddenly pressed against his back and made him jump. Before he could muster a word, a hand flew up to his eyes. 

“Guess who?” A familiar voice tickled his ear. The teasing tone of it much like water trickling into a pool of nostalgia. It made the hair on his arms and neck stand on end and his mouth go dry.

It couldn’t be.

Both hands retracted and Yusuke whipped around to stare down at those piercing grey eyes that flickered with mischief. The bounce of black curls still framed their elegance in a way that took Yusuke’s breath away. As if the surprise of Kurusu Akira standing in front of him, in Kosei’s culinary arts kitchen wasn’t enough… the chill that ran down his spine at the wide smile Akira was giving him was almost blinding.

“A-aki—” He could barely spit out his name, still overcoming the shock.

“You almost got it.” Akira’s grin turned to a sly smirk as he rubbed the back of his neck. “You said for me to drop in anytime, so here I am.”

Yusuke’s brain was barely stringing together a sentence. 

“I-I thought you were supposed to be here tomorrow.” He said, bluntly, still in obvious shock.

“I lied.” Akira shrugged ever so slightly, his toes dragging a circle in the ground in an almost… shy fashion. “I wanted to surprise you.”

The reality of the situation was sinking in, albeit slowly. Yusuke nodded at him, still trying to sort out what was going on.

“Well, color me surprised.” He laughed softly and shook his head. “When did you get in?”

“About an hour and a half ago. I came straight here, hope you don’t mind. I just…” Akira’s voice trailed off, distant and soft. “I missed you a lot. No one else knows I’m here, either. Well, besides Futaba, Ann and Haru. And Morgana of course, but Ann met me at the station to get him.”

Yusuke listened intently to him talk and pieces were starting to fall into place with sudden realizations hitting him all at once. “Wait, they knew and you came straight here? Why?” 

“I said I missed you a lot and I wanted a bit more time with you. Is that okay?” Uncertainty laced his question. So Yusuke nodded numbly.

“Of course, I’m just a bit shocked.”

“I can see that. You’ve been pointing your knife at me since you turned around.” 

Yusuke almost dropped it on the ground. “A-ah right.” He placed it quickly on the counter and turned his attention back to Akira. “I wish I would have known; I would have made this curry last night.” In all his wildest dreams he never thought Akira would come in early and see him first. What kind of fantasy world was he living in?

“Futaba told me you’d been cooking recently.” Another soft smile on Akira’s face made the tips of his ears burn. Of course, Futaba would sell him out.

“Did she now?”

“Yeah, Ann too.”

Two traitors then.

Akira looked around and fished an apron off the pantry door. He began to put it on and turned back to Yusuke. “Let me help?” 

He didn’t understand why his stomach felt like it was tied in a knot. Hadn’t Akira done enough to help him already? Why did he want to keep giving like this? He knew it was just cooking curry, which Akira had experience in, but he wanted to do it with Yusuke of all people. Yusuke who was nothing more than one of many people Akira had touched in his life. But he was like a candle Yusuke couldn’t help but be drawn to. The warmth in his smile was enough to make him melt. He wanted nothing more than for Akira to be close to him. He wanted to reach out and touch that dazzling smile for himself. To make Akira smile in such a way. He wanted to impart as much happiness as Akira had given him. 

He wanted him to know how much he loved him.

How much he loved him?

Yusuke stared at Akira as he stood beside him and nudged him. “Give me the rest of the onions. I don’t think you’re handling them all to well.”

He noticed then that his eyes were stinging from the tears that welled in them. Yusuke sniffed and welcomed the distraction to gather his thoughts as he handed the cutting board over to Akira, who began to hum as he cut the rest of them almost expertly.

His shoulder was warm against Yusuke’s arm.

He was basking in his glow, and he wondered if Akira knew just how special he was.

And he wondered just how long he had been in love with his friend and why he only just now realized it.

Perhaps it was because no one had ever done anything like this for him, made him feel like he was so important that they would purposefully plot to have more time with him for nothing more than to enjoy his company.

Akira made him feel valuable…

Akira made him feel so incredibly loved.

The grey of Akira’s eyes cut through his uncertainty. The very same grey that had become so common in his paintings, the one he had taken such a liking to. That was why. It was Akira the entire time.

“Yusuke? You okay?”

“Hm?” Akira had put him in charge of stirring as it was ‘the most important part of curry’. He was getting lost in his thoughts before Akira brought him back to the present.

“You just seem distracted.”

“Oh I am.”

Akira blinked and laughed. “Me too.”

He wondered what that meant as they chatted quietly about what they had been doing the last few months. Akira spoke in a hushed voice about how he was excited to graduate and move out as quickly as possible. Soon, the curry was completed and Akira suggested eating it back in Yusuke’s room while they continued to catch up. 

Yusuke was still reeling from his earlier revelations but he happily agreed as they both cleaned up their work area quickly and headed back to the artist’s living area.

This felt so cozy and familiar, eating with Akira… even if it was on his incredibly stiff bed in his stuffy room.

“After we eat, show me what you’ve been working on and I’ll show you what I’ve been working on.”

Yusuke pushed a spoonful of curry into his mouth and smiled pleasantly. This tasted exactly like Leblanc’s curry down to the texture of the onions. “Of course. You have me curious.” It was something Akira had mentioned while they cooked together. Some sort of surprise. Yusuke was sure he didn’t deserve whatever it was but he was still interested to see what got Akira that excited.

“What did you do to the curry? It tastes wonderful.” He commented before taking another large bite.

The other boy shrugged thinly. “Nothing. It’s the same recipe. Just none of my extra spice.”

He thought for a moment back to the first time he had it and how his mouth had burned for what felt like hours. Maybe… it was just the company that was affecting the flavor of it. He had been following the recipe to the gram.

Maybe it was just Akira’s presence that was needed.

“I see…”

“Ah, Yusuke.”

The sudden mention of his name made him snap his head up. “Hm?”

“I need to talk to you about something…” The nervousness in Akira’s voice was hard to miss. Was something wrong? Perhaps he did something he wasn’t aware of.

“Okay. What?” He couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous himself. Maybe Akira had joined a psychic club or something of the sort and he could read minds. Or something not as preposterous as that.

The silence between them was deafening. He saw Akira’s mouth open and close several times before the other cleared his throat.

“I keep thinking about you. A lot.”

“I think about you often as well.” He attempted to reassure him, the way that Akira often reassured him back in the days of the Phantom Thieves when he was still struggling to find his footing again.

“No. That’s not what I mean.” Akira turned to him suddenly and reached out, grabbing his hand. “I mean… I really like you. Like. Really. Like you.” He sputtered out with all the grace of a fawn taking its first steps.

His words sunk into Yusuke’s ears and hovered there before his mind fully understood the implications of his words. 

“I haven’t been able to get you off my mind.” His fingernails dug into Yusuke’s palm but he couldn’t find it in himself to tell him he was pinching him.

“It’s been bothering me since I left that I never told you just… how close I felt to you. I tried so many times and things got in the way. And moving back home just made it so much harder.” He let out a frustrated sigh and rubbed at his forehead with his free hand. “I tried to keep myself busy so I could stop thinking about you, Yusuke, but it didn’t work. Nothing worked.”

He listened intently; for the second time that day surprise riddled his body like a shock of ice water. He couldn’t believe he was hearing this. 

“So I did the opposite, I started going to more museums and the lake in my hometown. Hell, I joined art club trying to keep myself focused on something because I felt like I was going crazy.” Akira mustered a laugh that sounded like a ridicule of himself. 

“You what?” The comment grounded his mind from wandering in the clouds of disbelief that hung over him.

“I joined art club. I’m no good at it, but it kind of helped. I thought it was just me missing you, but Yusuke I really…” He began to rummage around in his backpack he brought with him and pulled out a sketchbook filled with simple still life pieces and obvious practice doodles. “I never had an interest in art until you. I just… this is what I wanted to show you. I feel like I’m losing my mind.”

He understood. He understood completely. All this time he felt he was going through this alone and it turned out Akira was going through the same thing. It made him smile ever so widely. Someone as wonderful as Akira feeling something so personal towards him? He couldn’t help but laugh.

And he kept laughing.

“It’s not  that funny.” Akira grumbled under his breath which broke up Yusuke’s chuckles to just puffs of air. 

“It’s not funny, no, you’re right. Forgive me. It’s just I’ve been going through something similar.” He explained everything Ann had suggested to him, why he suddenly took such an interest in cooking. All the while, Akira just stared at him in bewilderment. He wondered if he had looked that dumbstruck in the kitchen just an hour ago, but he continued to explain nonetheless.

“I’ve been drawing you as well. Ann pointed out that it was far too often, though I didn’t realize it until she explained it to me. I even have been painting with a grey that is similar to the color of your eyes. I just didn’t recognize that I had been doing these things subconsciously.”

Akira’s hand was growing sweaty in his own but he didn’t want to let it go. “I’ve… we’ve both been through a lot of hardship, but saying goodbye to you was something I didn’t expect to be so difficult.”

“Yeah…” Akira carded his free hand through his unruly hair and sighed. “Wow this… is a lot to unpack.”

“Indeed.” 

He never expected this to happen, that he would have gained such an attraction towards someone as special as Akira, but even more unlikely was that special person being just as attracted back. It had been a whirlwind of emotions flooding him, filling him with the overwhelming urge to express them through art. However, he found himself expressing it through his lips being pressed to Akira’s instead.

He couldn’t think of anything else as the soft, warm pressure of Akira’s lips sank against his own. This was heavenly, his anxieties melting away with the sweet, slick taste of Akira’s tongue against his own when Yusuke parted his lips. He found himself wrapped up in an intimate embrace, Akira’s arms draped around his neck.

Yusuke had never felt so alive as he had in that moment. He pulled Akira closer as the heat threatened to consume him. He welcomed it, the pull of his hair in Akira’s hand as they shared urgent kisses laced with unexpressed feelings they both kept bottled up for far too long.

Akira gasped against his lips, barely containing a subdued moan as he pulled away, out of breath. It was then that Yusuke realized he had been forgetting to breathe through his nose as well. His breath was labored, his lips felt swollen in a way that even the hottest curry couldn’t achieve.

And through it all was Akira, staring at him so intently through half lidded eyes, lashes falling in such a way that it made Yusuke’s hand twitch with inspiration. He licked his lips and tried to tidy hair that Yusuke definitely didn’t remember running his fingers through. He knew what his final piece would be for his portfolio. If only he could capture the passion that was being directed at him now.

“I’ve… been wanting to do that for a while.” Akira only then flushed the softest of pinks. 

“I—I believe I have as well.” Yusuke smiled at him, which made Akira, in turn, blush a deeper shade that crept over his nose and made the warm grey of his eyes shine even more in contrast. He was practically glowing.

And he was absolutely breathtaking.

“Akira, do you mind? I’d like to paint you.”

The ex-leader of the Phantom Thieves stared at him and began to laugh at the suggestion. “Only if you go out with me.”

It was an easier deal to make than the doujinshi commission he still owed Futaba. And Yusuke happily and willingly lost himself in the color of Akira’s eyes again, drawing inspiration from the warmth they held for him.

**Author's Note:**

> My twitter is @chromiekins!


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